"Finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding Yourself” is actually Returning to Yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, A remembering, who you were before the world got its hands on you." Emily McDowell
The journey of returning home to yourself begins with killing the idea that you are lost. The idea that you are lost is far from the truth. The truth is everything you are searching for is within you not outside of you. There is no relationship, no amount of money, no earthly possession that you need to become who you are. You are simply who you are. By understanding and accepting this simple truth that everything you need is within you, you begin to let others off the hook for your happiness. The only person responsible for your feeling good, feeling happy and fulfilled is yourself; your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, friends or children are not responsible.
According to Emily McDowell, "Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are". It will take the uncovering of negative self-talk, unlearning of limiting self-beliefs and the remembering of your true self in order to return to yourself.
Begin to uncover self-limiting beliefs with these questions, let your feelings be your guide. Use your good flowing feelings as your personal GPS to guide you. Pay attention to anything opposite from that.
1. What are my beliefs/thoughts about my relationships with others, myself, my finances and my health?
2. How do these beliefs/thoughts make me feel?
If they don't feel good, this is an indication that you are moving away from your true self.
Now that you have identified some negative/ self-limiting beliefs you hold towards your relationships with others, yourself, your finances and your health; ask yourself these questions to begin the unlearning process.
1. If I had a magic wand and could delete my negative thoughts from my brain what thoughts would I replace them with?
2. How do these new thoughts make me feel?
If they feel better/good this is an indication that you are moving towards your true self.
Practice repeating your positive statements you developed in the unlearning stage daily; preferably right when you wake in the mornings, as you drift to sleep at night and whenever you find yourself thinking negatively. Observe yourself in the unwanted behavior and gently redirect yourself towards the positive thought without shaming yourself. You've spent years with the limiting self-talk/negative thoughts, therefore, the unlearning of it will take time but it is not impossible. You may even struggle to believe your positive statements, in the beginning, don't worry keep going.
Finally, remember that returning to yourself is essentially the remembering of who you are. How do you remember you? You remember by accepting you were never lost in the first place, getting into the driver's seat of your life, following your free-flowing good feelings, checking for self-limiting/negative thoughts along the way, replacing self-limiting/negative thoughts with self-affirming thoughts/beliefs, practicing self-affirming thoughts, and being kind to yourself on your journey.